


Karkat: Continue to Fuck up Dave's Mouth

by MelodramaticMrTails



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Biting, Fingerfucking, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, One Shot, Red Romance, Tentabulges
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-27
Updated: 2013-03-27
Packaged: 2017-12-06 16:08:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/737579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelodramaticMrTails/pseuds/MelodramaticMrTails
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave's getting sick of Karkat biting his lips while they're kissing. That is until he discover's something about trolls that makes it totally worth it. Sweet, sweet blackmail.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Karkat: Continue to Fuck up Dave's Mouth

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and this has been one of your less brilliant ideas. Granted you’ve had a lot of slightly not brilliant ideas, some of which were very much not ironic though it pains you to admit, but many of those were solved with time shenanigans. This one would not be.

The only part of Karkat you could not deal with, were his teeth. The whole nook and bulge thing you could deal with. You guess that made him a hermaphrodite, which was kind of hilarious in retrospect, but you didn’t care. The horns you could deal with. You touched them, Karkat moaned or clicked or purred or whatever the hell that attractive noise was. The nails you could deal with. It was an ordeal every time, mostly because Karkat is an asshole, but you filed them down and he didn’t tear off huge patches of your skin. You could even deal with the eye and skin thing. Neither of those were a big deal. 

But the teeth. Those stupid teeth always managed, without a doubt, to injure you in some way. They weren’t nearly as sharp as some of the other’s you have seen, but that meant absolutely nothing to your mouth. Sometimes you still wish you had your braces just to give Karkat a taste of his own medicine. Thankfully, you have no way of making this happen and it would honestly only make it worse for yourself, anyways.

You know he’s doing this on purpose, too. You know for a fact Rose and Kanaya have been macking like nobody's business and Rose’s mouth isn’t fucked up. Kanaya’s fucking fangs are hundreds of times sharper than Karkat’s stubby little things. You have scratches on the _outside_ of your mouth. You can’t even taste anymore. 

Of course, you could just tell Karkat to knock it off, but that would be like waving a white flag at him and that was not going to happen any time ever. So this, sure enough, meant more shenanigans. You couldn’t just avoiding kissing him, though. Despite the teeth, you actually liked macking on him. You’ve thought about discreetly filing some of those fucking things down, but you also not so secretly like him biting you. 

You stumble upon the answer on accident. When the two of you are sitting in a pile of stuff, because if there’s one thing you like it’s piles of stuff, engaging in another battle of trying not to bleed all over everything, you reach the point where you have to stop. As usual, this requires a bit of force. You actually have to grab Karkat’s face and move it away from your own with a fair amount of force. The cuts on your lips are really starting to sting and you’re distantly concerned that he might have punctured your tongue. 

You work the muscle in your mouth for a moment and Karkat just watches you. He’d be yelling at you if this wasn’t a regular occurrence. After a short amount of time, he loses patiences and attempts to lean into you again, putting his face very close to your own. You sigh, inadvertently blowing a puff of air into the troll’s face.

Karkat flips out. Immediately, he reels back, flinching his eyes closed in a way you can’t help but find adorable. He makes that clicking noise only in a way that is much more of a whine than a noise of pleasure. Then he’s rubbing at his face with the back and sides of both his hands pitifully. It makes you think of a tiny puppy dog. He buries his face in the collar of his sweater and stares at you in a way that you _know_  means ‘don’t do that’. 

Oh, you’re totally going to do it. He frowns because you know he knows you’re going to do it. It would be literally impossible for you not to do it now. All too suddenly, he’s on his feet, briskly walking out of the room, likely in order to hide. This information is just gold. You follow him. 

“karkat wait,” you call after him. It only makes him walk faster. He walks straight past Rose and Kanaya, probably in hopes of distracting you. It works, but only because you let it. It’s clear you’re not about to get anything out of him right now.

“There’s something on your face,” Rose assures you with that cocky smile of hers. You know. It’s blood. It’s always blood. It’s the blood that let’s everyone on this stupid meteor know you just finished the hottest make out session with the angriest troll. 

“What Did You Do To Karkat?” Kanaya asks curiously. You decide that now would be a perfect time to find out if it’s just Karkat that does this or if it’s a universal constant for trolls. You sit down across from them, staring at your sister with the most lackluster expression you have perfected.

“i learned something about trolls today,” you answer. Kanaya arches a brow. She doesn’t believer you. Mostly because it wouldn’t be the first time Karkat told you something about trolls that wasn’t true. Though you hadn’t actually believed any of those things, honestly. 

“Oh?” Rose mimics curiously.

“yeah,” you say. They wait quietly, if not a little impatiently for further words. 

“And Are You Going To Tell Us What It Is You Think You’ve Learned?” Kanaya presses. You smirk.

“trolls freak out if you blow in their face.” Kanaya stiffens. Score. Rose lets out an amused chuckle. 

“Oh really?” she purrs, turning slowly to her matesprit. Kanaya frowns at her stubbornly.

“Rose,” she says. Rose doesn’t pay her any mind, blowing a puff of breath at the troll calmly. Sure enough, Kanaya freaks. She makes that noise in her throat distinctly different from Karkat's and proceeds to rub at her face with both hands. Rose covers her mouth with her hand, trying not to laugh. Kanaya pulls the collar of her shirt up, hiding the bottom half of her face uselessly. 

“Please Do Not Do That,” she insists.

“That is adorable,” Rose chuckles. “But I will respect your request.”

“Thank You.”

“well you two are obviously going to go at it again so i’m going to go find karkat.’ Neither of them are really listening to you, so you stand to wander off. While there are plenty of hiding places on this rock, you know all of Karkat’s favorites. Sure enough you find him in what he calls his ‘secret’ room. He’s buried under a pile of Terezi’s plushes where he thinks you can’t see him. You can very obviously see him.

“i’m totally not about to sit in this soft looking pile of stuffed dragons,” you say directly at him and proceed to fling yourself down on the pile. Karkat narrowly escapes.

“YOU ASSHOLE. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?”

“whoops,” you shrug in reply. He glares at you. It’s not very effectively. You open your arms in the most condescending way possible. He sits with you anyways. You reach an arm around him and gently fondle one of his little candy corn horns until he clicks with pleasure.

“DON’T DO THAT THING,” he murmurs sharply. This is where you promise not to do the thing as long as he lays off the teeth. You don’t do this. You also know that this is the start of a ‘who can annoy who to the breaking point first’ and you’ll totally be at fault for it but there is no way you’re letting this go. None whatsoever.

“no promises.” You yank him towards you a little more by that stubby little horn of his. He growls at you in a way that’s supposed to be threatening, but it doesn’t work on you. He gets that little twitch in his facial muscles that happens when he’s especially annoyed or angry. You press your mouth to his and he reluctantly responds. It doesn’t take him long to decide to climb into your lap, holding your waist dearly and digging into your skin with his fortunately recently trimmed nails. You guess he isn’t actually trying to hurt you when he does claw at you, especially considering how he’s kneading your waist right now.

He bites at your lips a little less now. You’re not even sure why he thought that was part of good kissing anyways, but you don’t miss it even slightly. His tongue presses warmly against your own. His teeth still clank against your own in an unavoidable way, but you really don’t find it that bothersome. You rub the base of each of his nubs where it meets his skull  in the way he likes. This is probably your favorite way of passing the time.

Then Karkat’s biting you again. Why. Why does he have to do that. You ignore it for a few moments, but he doesn’t stop. You pull him off you again, this time by the horns and earn a displeased noise. You know for a fact he doesn’t like being pulled by his horns and this is why you do it. You puff out your cheeks and suddenly he’s the most pitiful thing on this side of the meteor. This face doesn’t work on you either.

You blow a steady, constant stream of air into his face. He squirms in your lap, but you have a tight hold on his horns.

“STRIDER,” he whines.

“karkat,” you answer. He stares at you. He runs his tongue along your bottom lip and your kissing again. There’s only a few more accidental nips after that. You understand that with teeth the size of Karkat’s, it’s bound to happen. You also know the difference between accidental and malicious.

He grinds down in your lap. Okay, perhaps the second favorite thing to do. Karkat slips his hips down your thighs just enough to give himself room to fumble with your pants. He doesn’t break the kiss and you don’t take your hands off those little nubs. He removes your hard cock from your boxers without any hesitation and is just as quick about getting his own pants undone. Immediately, he shifts his hips back again and his weird red tentacle thing is wrapping around you.

Terezi’s going to be so mad. Karkat’s will be taking all the blame however, so it doesn’t concern you at the moment. He makes more troll noises into your mouth, worrying his hips needlessly. His tentabulge knows exactly what it wants and wow is it fantastic. He stops kissing you in order to breath down your neck. You catch yourself groaning as well.

He reaches for your glasses and you automatically catch his wrist

“TAKE THEM OFF,” he insists pitifully. You decide not to do that. What you do decide to do is use your other hand to dip into Karkat’s pants. He grabs your elbow to steady himself and buries his face into your collarbone when you touch a pair of fingers to his nook. He nibbles at your skin which may just be an effect of his chattering noise. His bulge constricts around you, ushering out another groan from your throat.

He sucks on the indent of your collar, leaving a dark round bruise encircled by little teeth indents. You’re already pretty covered in these things. Fortunately your robes cover most of them. You work your index and middle finger to the same pace Karkat is squeezing your junk. He rubs his face over your neck and jaw, either trying to smear his scent on you or smoother you. Still not entirely sure with trolls. Or himself, considering he’s having a hell of a time getting to your skin under your godtier robes.

Somehow his and your fingers get intertwined, simply hovering uselessly to the side. You don’t mind so much. He doesn’t seem too, either. You feel his nook clench around your fingers, and his bulge spazzing out. You close your eyes calmly, bringing your lip between your teeth and inadvertently irritating the cuts there. You ignore it.

Karkat clicks lowly in his orgasm, squeezing your fingers in one hand and your arm in the other. As well as the fingers in his nook and fucking hell, your cock with his bulge. You feel the hot, thick liquid drip down your fingers and basically coat your hand. You’re pretty sure Karkat has made an excess of extra pants by now with all the pairs he’s ruined like this.

His bulge contracts around you, pushing you into climax right behind him. Karkat’s tentacle thing retracts making it easier to pull your hand out of his pants. You proceed to wipe it off on his jeans. He slouches against you, his chin resting in the nook between your shoulder and neck. Oh god, you’re never calling it that again.

“DON’T DO THE THING ANYMORE,” he says again. You grip his ass in one hand lazily, the other still caught with Karkat’s fingers.

“i’ll think about it.”

“DAVE.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> i take requests at themadkingsendshismilk.tumblr.com


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